I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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