Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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