Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
