Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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