My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
