You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
