don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
