I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
