I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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