I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Let's paint friendship bongs
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize