Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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