hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
