i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize