I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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