break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
