The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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