sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
