She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
