Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
