covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
