she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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