Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
