I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
