oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
