You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she peed on how many people?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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