Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
