she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
