My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
