So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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