btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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