The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
