Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
