I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
