i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
