votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
