So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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