the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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