doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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