**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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