I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
