we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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