An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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