what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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