we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
