with your own penis?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Small penises have feelings too.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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