Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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