I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
