Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
