Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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