She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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