You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
