let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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