god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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