Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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