if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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