there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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