Please, let me fuck your mom
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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