i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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